November 15th, 2007 vulgar
I have a major fucktard rant today. If this too annoys you as it does me - please send this message around, post it on your site (with a link back of course) and spread the fucking love. Maybe we can teach these fucktards a lesson.
I am a huge movie fan. I love specific genres, and going to the movie theatre has always been a fun event and experience. My mother took me to see movies at a young age, I was taught how to behave. I went as a teenager with a gaggle of girls and while we were probably a little obnoxious before the film started… we always quieted down once it did.
The last few years my movie going experiences have been RUINED by fucktards who lack manners and class. I am sick of people sitting close to me and rambling in a normal speaking voice during the entire movie. This has become an occurrence that now happens every single time I go and it is completely disruptive to me, and RUDE as hell.
So last week I was in the theatre with my partner. There was a mom in 40’s and her 16 year old teen daughter behind me. Behind my partner were 3 people - 2 guys and a girl all in their late 20’s. None of them shut up for more then 5 minutes the whole time.
Mom and teen daughter brought their own snacks from home. I had to listen to them unwrap shit in foil. The daughter made a stupid grunt like noise after any witty dialogue in the movie. I heard her chewing in my ear without her god damn mouth closed. I was disgusted and almost threw up in my mouth. They talked the whole time.
I purposely kept turning around to give them the evil eye thinking that might cure them. But of course not. They seemed to believe that they were at home with their feet up and yacking away. Eventually I gave a hard SHHHHHHHHHHHUSH to them. It helped about 80%. But they still were unable to control the fucktardism in themselves. What truly pissed me off is the fact that the mother was a few years older then me, so I know she had to have some knowledge of manners if I did.
The three stooges behind my partner also continued talking. One of them actually was speaking to the characters on the screen with things like, “well what did you do that for”? or “why didn’t you say something sooner”. I wondered if he knew that people didn’t live in the TV or that there is a difference between your live friends and the ones on a movie screen. I don’t think he did since he was clearly trying to help the movie actors out with his advice.
And now for the fucktards. Let me teach you some manners at the movies.
1. Don’t sit so close to other people if there is room in the theatre. Spread out a little because other individuals may not enjoy your bad breath, your body odor, or your retarded commentary.
2. It is ok to talk and be a little social during the previews. But try to keep your voice down, you don’t want to make everyone in the theatre dumber by having to listen to you. Turn off your cell phone too dumbass.
3. When the movie starts… stop shuffling in your seat. If you are unwrapping candy or your fucking ham dinner that you bring from home…. try to conceal the noise. And for Christ’s sake shut up. If you must say something to the person or people you are with —- then lean close to them and WHISPER.
4. Treat the movie theatre like a Library. Other people are concentrating. If your attention span is so small that you cannot shut up for 90 minutes then please only rent movies at home to save the rest of us.
5. If you hear a woman near you in a theatre say very loudly “I am so fucking sick of this bullshit” or “why can’t they shut up” then know…… that it is probably me giving you a warning statement, and that I do have a weapon. No court in the land would convict me either when I testify to your stupidity.
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Posted in Ranting and Bitching, Stupid People in Public, Bad Parents, Movies for Morons, Lack of Manners |
September 2nd, 2006 shameless
I don’t shop on Ebay much at all, but I have friends that do. They tell me when something unusual is being auctioned or sometimes the news will carry a story about something on Ebay.
Remember the grilled cheese sandwich that had the picture of the Virgin Mary on it. I think it went for $25,000. Give me a break. I also remember seeing an empty McDonald’s french fry bag being auctioned for 20 cents. Now why the hell would someone want an empty french fry bag? Maybe I should save all my empty containers of anything I purchase from the restaurants and groceries. You never know what some fucktard will buy.
BUT today, I heard the best one yet. I couldn’t even believe that the news was even talking about this item on Ebay. I know because of all the hype of Tom Cruise’s new baby, anything about him, Katie Holmes and the new baby (Suri) beats out any other news story. I mean what is important, surely not the fucking war in the Middle East, terrorism, all the crazy fucktards killing their kids, etc. The most important issue at hand is the fact that some fucktard bronzed Suri’s first bowel movement and is selling it on Ebay. Yes, you read right. The baby’s first dump, shit, turd. Whatever you want to call it, there it is in all it’s glory made of bronze…..BABY SURI’S POOP.
I don’t care that it is being auctioned for some charity. MY GOD is nothing sacred anymore. Maybe the fucktard that bronzed the turd isn’t so stupid after all. You know some more ignorant fucktard is going to actually buy it. I am curious to know just how fucktard #1 retrived this poop. Did he lurk in the bushes until the first diaper dump? Did the crazy daddy (Tom) give it to the fucktard to bronze it? Maybe in daddy’s crazy religion this is a practice. Giving the first poop of the first born to ensure a place in the afterlife.
Even the MSNBC newscaster couldn’t believe she was getting paid to cover this story. She even made that comment on the air. I was embarrassed for her.
By the way, I have 2 cats. One loves to poop. I wonder how much her poop would go for. HHMMM, I might have to check out Ebay.
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Posted in Ranting and Bitching, Bad Parents, Cyberspace Stupidity, Movies for Morons, Dumb People on the News |
August 14th, 2006 vulgar
I worked with a chick I’ll dub as Rainbow Brite because she is very concerned with calling herself an artist… but not worried that the art she creates is below average. We worked in an independent style business where I was her boss and she didn’t do anything I said. It worked best when I ignored it, but often the fucktard issue couldn’t be ignored.
Which brings me to today’s rant, mainly for the humor factor. It’s been quite a while ago since this happened, but it still can crack me up anytime I think of it. Rainbow Brite had a way of flaunting her stupidity like she was almost proud of it. She’d sometimes like to get into religious or historical discussions and she knew nothing about either. She once told me she couldn’t wait to watch Pearl Harbor so she could learn some history. I said, “Gee Rainbow you know that’s actually fiction right?” and she responded with, “well yeah but I can still learn about history”.
Probably around the time of the Iraq War starting I was explaining to her some of the horrific crimes that Saddam had committed against his own people. She did not know ANY of this, she did not even know where the Middle East WAS. So she listened as I wove her a story as if it were a movie, something she could understand. Her response was… and I am quoting it EXACTLY….
Rainbow Brite: “ooooooh so it’s kinda like… oh, what’s that movie called”?
Vulgar: “um what movie?”.
Rainbow Brite: “oh you know which one I mean”.
Vulgar: “um no I don’t. Tell me some tidbit about it and I’ll probably know”.
Rainbow Brite: “oh what is the name of it? Damnit. The one about the Jewish Times”.
Vulgar: “The JEWISH TIMES? What the hell are you talking about”.
Rainbow Brite” yeah you know the one about the Jewish Times”.
Vulgar: “Rainbow…. Do you mean the HOLOCAUST?”
Rainbow Brite: “that might be it, what else”.
Vulgar: “you mean like World War II? The Holocaust? Was the movie you meant Schindler’s List?”.
Rainbow Brite: “that’s the name of it”.
I kid you not. This is 100% true. The woman was 43 years old and did not know about WWII or the Holocaust…….just a movie.
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Posted in Ranting and Bitching, Idiots at Work, Movies for Morons, Laughing My Ass Off, Crazy Ape Shit, I See Dumb People, The Stupid Shit People Say, Educating the Stupid, Drooling Morons, Oh My Fucking God |
