First, let’s get this straight. You walk in, the first thing in your face is the SIGN that tells you exactly what to do. The office is divided in two parts…. Half for the people taking their drivers test, and the other half is for people who just need to obtain a new drivers license. Sounds simple enough. All you have to do is go to the machine which is DIRECTLY under the big sign that’s in your face… and take a ticket with a number. Now here is the tricky part. You have to actually read this sign. It tells you what button to push to get the right ticket. It has two buttons… they plainly describe the sections… it’s either your new photo license or your drivers test. The buttons are even different colors so you can’t really fuck up…. if you have a brain.

 

All you have to do is read the sign, press the button that applies to what you are there for, and a ticket with a number pops out. When they call your number… you walk up to the window. Not rocket science.

 

I have NEVER seen so many idiots in all my life. Nothing has changed in this process since the last time I had to do it. I walked in, got my ticket, and sat down within 3 minutes or less.

 

I heard moron after moron come in… and not know what the fuck to do. They stood there are STARED at the sign… yet nothing sunk in. They would ask someone… “Do I need to get a ticket?” YES FUCKTARD… that’s what the PLAIN and SIMPLE sign says to do. Can you not follow simple directions?

 

I have also noticed something else… the dumber they are… the LOUDER they are too. OMG I had to put my hands in my pockets to keep from slapping someone. It was simply the longest hour of my life.

 

A mother came in dressed in super short shorts and a Motley Crue tee shirt with her two teen daughters. It’s October in the North East… we had nice weather but it was not that warm. She had the biggest mouth of all times. Every single person at the DMV heard her every word. She couldn’t read the sign, nor could her two daughters. The Barfly mom actually shoved her way up to the desk to announce their arrival. She was told to read the sign and to take a ticket. Unfortunately, they forgot to tell her to shut up. The whole place had to hear her conversations with her daughters, and we had to listen to her answer her cell phone… each time it rang. Yes, it rang several times.

 

Some fat old hag came in, also dressed in clothing from a dollar store, with her two adult derelict sons. And wouldn’t you know it… she was just as loud and couldn’t read the sign either. Eventually she figured out she needed a number. The DMV was packed, so she started DIGGING in the GARBAGE can to find a number that someone threw away. Because it was so busy on this particular day… many people came in, took a number, and could not wait. The hag found one… 3 numbers BEFORE mine.

 

I was LIVID. Just because this skank was used to sifting through garbage, while I am not… did not give her the right to cut in line. She basically got to jump ahead of at least a dozen people. This is the exact reason I carry such a small purse… if I could fit weapons in it… I would always carry them.

 

Luckily I do not have to get a new license again for another 4 years. But my real questions is…. How the HELL do the DMV employees not go insane? I wonder if they have to get counseling on a regular basis.