I’m not a "news"person by nature, but I do try to force myself to watch it occasionally to keep up with what is going on in the world. I don’t want to turn into a fucktard of course. I have two basic rants of local TV News reporters. I can’t imagine this only happens in my own area but it’s possible we breed ‘em extra dumb around here.

Number 1 Stop pretending you have a damn personality. I don’t like it, you piss me off, and it bores me. I don’t want to hear about your stupid children, your weekend plans, your "in"jokes, weddings you’ve gone to and etc. I’m TRYING to get to the NEWS for God’s sake. All these topics have been on my local news channel this week from stupid chick reporters that all need a serious makeover.. Shut up gawd. Report the news, do your job, and piss off. You have no personality anyway. You are trying way too hard to be likable and all it does it make me more disgusted.

Number 2 Get a journalism degree. Oh, you say you HAVE one. Then take the public speaking class again you stuttering stumbling fool. My lord they cannot go through a 30 minute newscast without sounding like a fucktard. I don’t get this. It’s your career, get your shit together. A frickin’ heart surgeon doesn’t get the shakes every 30 minutes and get to keep his/her job. The point is there are plenty of other professions out there that educated people manage to do without constant fuck ups.

I know what you are thinking (unless you are a fucktard and just drooling) you are thinking "well this is why they are only local news reporters". I tell myself this too all the time, but it continues to annoy me anyway.